The Kindness of Strangers
Yesterday morning was horrible. We all have days that don’t go well of course. Then suddenly, unexpectedly, a stranger is kind to you and it really helps calm you and get things in perspective. It can help you move on from your grief to growth.
Do you struggle with all this modern technology? ME TOO! Do you wish you could speak to an actual person instead of an automated ‘chatbot’? ME TOO! Do you sometimes swear under your breath – or out loud – in frustration? ME TOO!
The crash
Let’s start at the beginning. Someone crashed into me when I was on my way to have my hip X-rayed. This was a most unpleasant and unnerving experience as you can imagine. Being a bit apprehensive, never having been to this hospital before, I was following Google maps. I was probably going at about 30mph when I saw a car coming out of a short driveway in front of me. Even though I had jammed on brakes and stopped, he still hit me. It sounded quite loud. But I pulled off onto the side of the road and was surprised to see that the damage wasn’t too bad. Also, mercifully, I wasn’t hurt, but I felt very shaky and tearful and I was thinking: “Dudley, where are you now, when I need you so badly?”
But then a kind stranger who was behind me, had stopped and had come over to ask if I was okay and check if I’d been injured. He also offered to be a witness if necessary, to say that he’d seen what had happened and that it was totally the other man’s fault. This man was less concerned and not particularly apologetic – “I thought there was a gap in the traffic – it’s a long time since I’ve had an accident”. But he willingly gave his contact details and number plate etc. and said his Insurance would sort it out.
Finding strength
What was wonderful was that I managed to calm myself down and drive to my appointment. And then I managed to find my way home again, even although I couldn’t get a signal to get Google Maps back up. Dudley would have been proud of me I think. Cherish these little triumphs! You may well surprise yourself, when you find the strength to get through these tough incidents.
The aftermath
My insurance company has been excellent in getting things all sorted. My car was being fetched to go to Bristol for repairs. I wanted to phone them to check that all was in order and that this was still happening. But my ‘new’ phone kept saying ‘Call failed’. And I discovered that I couldn’t phone my neighbours on their landline either.
The ‘new’ phone was my daughter’s one, which she’d kindly passed onto me. She’d transferred everything across, so I’d assumed it was all sorted. Was my mobile service provider the problem then? The App was asking for my username and password etc. and then not recognizing these. I’m sure you all know the story. The codes being sent to change these weren’t coming through. After 40 minutes on a ‘chat’ to them it still wasn’t sorted. So at the same time, I messaged my daughter. I told her my problem and asked her to phone the Body Shop to check if they were still coming to fetch my car. She said ‘Have you changed the sim card from your old phone to the new one?’ ‘NO!’ She’d forgotten to tell me to do that….and I never thought of it. How stupid one feels!
The kindness of a stranger
So now, while asking the mobile chat guy to hang on some more, I managed to get the one in my old phone out with a pin – I don’t have one of those proper little keys. But my hands are not very strong and also shaky and I was still struggling to get the new phone to open, when a young woman appeared at my door to fetch my car!
I ended the call to the mobile company and asked the young woman if she could try and help me quickly. She was so obliging and readily agreed to come in and give it a go. The kindness of strangers! She tried with the pin and also a paper clip but she also couldn’t do it. We put the sim back into my old phone to see if that was the issue. She suggested I phone her to check it out, and that worked, as did the Body Shop. It was such a relief that I found myself getting tearful and she got up to give me a big warm hug. I was so touched. And later when she got back to her workplace, she sent a message to see if I was okay. So very kind – thank you Chloe!
Resolution and Relief
After Chloe left, I suddenly remembered that my neighbour across the road had helped me put in a sim card before, so I sent him a message. Five minutes later he was at my door. And he had the special little key to get the sim card holder out. So now my ‘new’ phone is sorted. He also gifted me the little key as he doesn’t need it anymore – his newest phone doesn’t have a physical sim card. I don’t know him well but he’s been a wonderful neighbour, helping us so often when Dudley was so very ill; going down to fetch medication etc. ‘The kindness of strangers’ would definitely include him.
A Postcript: Hugs are healing!
On the subject of hugs: I recently bought a beautiful book called ‘Soulfulness’ by Brian Draper. I bought it second-hand, at a very good price through Abe Books. I highly recommend this company. https://auth.www.abebooks.co.uk/ In the section called ‘Living with Soul’, there is a subsection entitled ‘The power of the hug’.There is so much scientific evidence that suggests that hugs affect our well-being positively; the heart rate lowers, along with the amount of the stress hormone cortisol in our systems. We release the hormone oxytocin when touched, which increases our sense of attachment, connection, trust and intimacy. If we hug someone or they hug us, we’ll feel less lonely; grief to growth.
Thought for the Day: The kindness of strangers; it’s always there, often unexpected and surprising – look out for it and be thankful! Yet another thing that can help us move from grief to growth.