It’s a Journey – I’m inviting you along.
Well, here I am, beginning a new journey; a daunting ‘travelling alone’ journey. I decided to write about it. What to call it? I decided on ‘From Grief to Growth; A Widowhood Journey’ because I feel that best expresses the intended tone of my blog. I’d like to think that I am going to move on from the Grief to a period of Growth and I hope many of you readers out there will come along with me on this widowhood journey and that you’ll find your own path too through my posts.
It’s 6 months on from the 1st December 2024 when my very dear husband left this earth, after a battle with the dreaded C. So much Grief but we’re all told there is Growth when one goes through all of this. Only time will tell. We had been married for 51 years.
Where has he gone? So many thoughts have gone through my head with regard to this question. He wasn’t religious but I certainly don’t believe he has gone to ‘hell’. Do people’s souls hover somewhere, every now and then give a little hint that they are still around? I certainly have had one or two incidents that have given me pause for thought and at the same time, given me a cheery little boost. More about this in future posts.
Positives and Challenges
Yesterday, the 4th June was Dudley’s birthday. He’d have turned 78. I was hoping to cruise through the day with fond memories….
There were positives: This time last year we were enjoying a wonderful safari in South Luangwa Park in Zambia. Dudley was well enough to go on this trip and in spite of some struggles, he enjoyed it immensely. The staff at Flat Dogs camp are wonderful and Linda made sure he celebrated his 77th birthday! https://www.flatdogscamp.com/The wildlife was amazing. https://www.southluangwa.com/
My blog post on this experience: https://footeloosefancyfree.com/best-zambian-budget-safari/
And there were challenges: I had a doctor’s appointment in town. As there are roadworks going on I had allowed 20 minutes to get down there for the normal 5 minute trip. It took 40 minutes, so I was late for my appointment, but they kindly still fitted me in. I have to have my foot X-Rayed and see a dermatologist. Not what I wanted to hear. (The positves: I’m being steered in the right direction by the wonderful NHS team.)
Then reversing out of my gate to go to Bath, I was careless and scratched the front of my car on the gate post. (The positives: No-one was hurt and the damage is minor).
More positives: I had a good time with my granddaughter. After school, I took her to a little cafe for a hot chocolate and a Rocky Road brownie. Later we practised our French on each other – we’re both doing Duolingo French.
And so life goes on without my dear man…. Tonight my daughter, husband and grandaughter are coming through to my lovely town of Bradford-on-Avon and we are going to have a meal at Ravellos, http://ravelloboa.co.uk the excellent Italian Restaurant that my Dudley enjoyed. We will drink a toast to him.
An Invitation
Yes, I have been forced to embark on this lonely journey but I’m very aware that there are SO many of you out there who are in that same rocky boat trying to negotiate stormy waters. I decided to document my ‘travels’ on my blog. My aim is to aim to move on from Grief to Growth, while still acknowledging the inevitable sadness and challenges that come with widowed. I’m hoping that those who are meant to will find my posts and come on this journey with me. Perhaps we can each find the direction that feels right for us and maybe even start sharing our experiences, with one another, both positive and negative.
From Grief to Growth in Pictures
I feel sad when I look at this picture of my husband with my daughter’s cat on his lap which was taken when he was still well – Grief. Then I hung this beautiful portrait of him in my kitchen where I see it every day; the handsome young man I fell in love with all those years ago. I feel that’s where the Growth comes in – allowing the memories to cushion the loss.
Huge thanks to my son for the portrait. http://robfoote.net
That’s all for now. My next post will be about Angels – I do believe in their occasional mani-festations in our lives!